After losing so much, how do you stop seeing life as just suffering?

I’m sorry things feel this heavy. When being gone starts to sound appealing, please tell someone you trust today and try not to be alone with it. If you might act on those thoughts or don’t feel able to stay safe, contact your local crisis line or emergency services, or go to an emergency department.

You don’t have to settle the big spiritual questions right now. The immediate thing is getting support through this stretch, including from a mental health professional if one is available.

Stories about choosing hardship before birth may comfort some people, but they can’t establish that your losses were planned or that you deserve them. You’re allowed to find that explanation unconvincing, especially if it makes the pain feel inevitable.

There can be ordinary causes behind major losses, and not knowing why they happened doesn’t mean your life has to stay defined by them. It may help to focus on what would make the next few days a little safer or more manageable.

Try shrinking the problem for now. Pick one practical thing for today, like talking with someone supportive, sorting out a basic need, or arranging an appointment. You don’t need a whole life plan before taking one small step.

And searching for other people who lost everything can show that hardship happens to many people, but it doesn’t prove there’s a hidden plan behind it. If those searches leave you feeling worse, take a break from them.