How should we make sense of childhood memories like this?

A memory can feel completely real without every detail being certain. When siblings share an experience, it helps to separate what each person remembers independently from what they discussed or learned later. Similar accounts are worth listening to, but they do not by themselves settle what happened.

If the details matter to the family, each person could write down what they remember separately, including what is unclear and when they first remember telling anyone. Keeping uncertainty in the record is more useful than trying to make the accounts match.

Nighttime can make perception and memory especially confusing. Dreamlike experiences around falling asleep or waking can feel vivid, and children may interpret an unfamiliar sensation through images they already know. That is one possible explanation, not a conclusion about any particular memory.

It may help to ask about the setting and timing without leading the person toward a specific answer. Questions like “What do you remember next?” are less suggestive than offering details for them to confirm.

I’d keep the conversation curious but grounded. Let people describe what they recall in their own words, and avoid treating a later interpretation or guided recollection as proof. A drawing or a note made at the time can be useful context, though it still cannot establish a cause on its own.

If the memories are causing ongoing fear or disrupting sleep, talking with a qualified mental health professional could help with the distress without requiring anyone to decide what the experience was.