What should I do when someone tells me they’re being hurt at home?

Listen, believe them, and keep the focus on what they say feels safest. Offer to help them find a local domestic violence advocate, who can work through options and safety planning with them. Don’t pressure them to leave on a particular timeline. Leaving can bring added risk, so a plan made with an advocate is more useful than a blanket instruction.

Before sending links or making contact, ask whether their phone or accounts might be monitored and what kind of follow-up is safe. If they describe immediate danger, help them contact local emergency services if it’s safe to do so.

Be clear about your limits. You can offer a resource and listen, but you aren’t their investigator, counselor, or emergency responder. Avoid promising secrecy before you know what your legal or professional obligations are. Rules about reporting suspected abuse, especially when children are involved, vary by location and by role, so check local guidance or speak with a qualified professional without sharing identifying details if possible.

Try not to contact the person causing harm, confront them, or make a report on the client’s behalf without considering the risks and your obligations. An advocate can help the client weigh safer next steps.

It’s understandable to feel shaken afterward. Keep any notes factual and minimal, store them securely, and don’t keep sensitive details you don’t need. For your own support, talk through the stress with a supervisor or qualified counselor without identifying the person. Having a simple referral plan ready can also make future disclosures feel less overwhelming.