An estranged parent died recently, and twice I noticed a smell strongly associated with them. I expected dreams, but none have come. Could the smells mean anything, and how can I make them stop?
Could these smells mean my estranged parent is around?
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PebbleKite
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You can’t know from the smell alone whether it was a visit. Grief and memory can bring back vivid sensory impressions, and ordinary smells can also come from a source that’s easy to miss. Either way, noticing it doesn’t mean you have to welcome contact or change the boundaries you set.
Try airing out the room and checking likely sources, then see whether it happens again and under what circumstances. If the smell keeps recurring with no apparent source, or comes with other new symptoms, consider asking a clinician about it.
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If a spiritual interpretation feels meaningful to you, you can hold it lightly without deciding it’s definitely your parent. You might say aloud that you don’t want contact, or do a small familiar grounding or protective practice because it helps you feel settled. The point can be your comfort and choice, not proving what caused the smell.
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No dreams, no smell, or a smell that comes and goes aren’t reliable measures of how much you cared or whether you’re grieving correctly. You already chose what contact felt safe for you. You don’t owe anyone an opening just because they died.
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